Britney Spears Nipples Ringing

Before having promiscuous sex with a photographer, Britney Spears walked around Saturday in a ridiculously see-through shirt, and, oh, holy night, no bra! It’s a Christmas miracle. Kind of. I think. All I know is my penis is glowing bright red like Rudolph’s nose and I dunno if that's good or bad. Hey, here comes Santa Claus. You want my dong to guide your sleigh tonight? Sure. Why not? Let’s save Christmas, jolly man. But wait. *holds a candy cane to his ear* Baby Jesus is on the phone. He says we should get lap dances first. Your treat.



Britney Spears spent the night with a member of the paparazzi at The Peninsula Hotel on Saturday. The photographer (above) whose name is Adnan left the hotel Sunday morning at six a.m. while Britney was seen leaving at nine a.m. Us Magazine reports:

Spears' "wild date" began Saturday night with the photographer, who works for the Finalpixx photo agency, handing Spears his business card at a gas station after he heard she "liked" him. Soon after getting his card, Spears contacted him and, after meeting up, the pair was later spotted holding hands at a supermarket.

Us Magazine adds, “As of Sunday afternoon, a source says Spears was at her Beverly Hills home with her two children, Sean Preston and Jayden James.” Aw, that’s nice. Mommy just banged a random photographer. Who wants to smell her hands? I hope you’re taking notes, Jamie Lynn.