Jessica Simpson - "It’s time for porn."

Jessica Simpson isn’t the box-office draw you’d expect a hot chick with a creamy stupid center to be. Her latest film Blonde Ambition was headed straight for DVD until the producers decided to show the film in Jessica’s home state of Texas. It not only bombed but set the stage for the rest of her film releases, according to Page Six:

The turkey took in just $1,322 on its opening weekend in eight Texas theaters. Jessica's next picture, "Major Movie Star," with Vivica A. Fox and Steve Guttenberg, is also heading straight to DVD.

So I did the math on this one and it’s bad. Assuming movie tickets are $10, roughly 16 people saw this movie at each theater over a three day span. If this isn’t a giant flag that says “Jessica Simpson, it’s time for porn” then I don’t know what is. I mean, besides that billboard I built outside her bedroom window that says “Jessica Simpson, it’s time for porn.” Her dad was a big help though, so I can’t take all the credit.